Mother: "Timothy, this is your mother. What is that thing on your bedroom floor?"
Timmy: (thinking) "Uhhh...."
Mother: "Just tell me one thing: is it, or has it ever been, alive?"
Timmy: "Oh, that's my catfish pillow."
(well, of course. I should have known that)
Mother: "When are you leaving for boot camp again?"
Timmy: "Soon, Mommy, soon."
Ugh, here it is. Imagine seeing this in low light conditions. I swear it looks like its bloated stomach is rising and falling: